Queer Things
by Agentstar
Summary: What would have happened in LotR is some of the characters were different? What if some had different genders? Different Ages? Names? My take on what would have happened.
1. Considering the Prologue

Queer Things: Considering the Prologue

This is my first fanfic, please don't critisise, much, and don't judge.

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Rings or 10 years younger.

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_**Considering Genders**_

_Because this is a Frodo/Sam + (insert random name here)/ (insert other random name here) fic, I'm changing the genders and names of the following:_

_Sam;_

_Merry._

_This is convenient because it helps with the plot and some other things, which I don't quite know yet. They will also have a name change to more suitable names (see Considering Names). I may tweak some genders later on as well._

_**Considering Ages**_

_Because of the plot (again) I have chosen to change the ages of some of the chief cast. Some only slightly and for some others it will be like they have been on an odd, actually age-altering version of 'Ten Years Younger'._

_E.g. each of the _four_ hobbits has only two years between them, but there still in the proper age order._

_**Considering Names**_

_As you have read earlier, I'm giving Merry and Sam new names to suit their erm... gender changes. They will be as followed:_

_Samwise Samantha (Normal name given to female Sam, I'm really not one for originality.)_

_Meriadoc Mertensia (As far as I know, not a name. It's a plant, a green plant. Thought it a suitable substitute.)_

_**Considering Chapters**_

_At the beginning of each chapter, I'll notify you if any changes have been made from the original (e.g. Names, Gender, Age, etc, etc, etc)._

_Chapters should be added once every week hopefully, but chapters should be posted every day for the week the first chapter is up. Which should be Monday 19__th__ July, around 16.30._

85-word Prologue:

Queer things happened on September 22nd that year, some said that they had always been like that, and the queer things were a year or six after that, others said that it had been queer since Bilbo Baggins had first left The Shire- since Gandalf the Grey, a wizard, turned up after a long period of absence- but one hobbit will always remember the queer things beginning one day, a day before Bilbo's birthday party on September 22nd, and she will always remember it well...


	2. Party Business and Other Matters

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Ring.

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Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter One: Party Business and Other Matters—

Samantha Gamgee was roused awake by her younger sister, Marigold, on the morning of September 21st.

"You slept in Sam," the young hobbit told her older sister, "You're supposed to be at Mr. Bilbo's looking after the garden." Tired, Sam got out of bed, satisfied, Marigold left. The next few minutes where somewhat hectic for Samantha, but soon she was out the door, munching an apple, in the direction of Bag-End, the home of the elderly Bilbo Baggins and his 32 year-old-cousin/adopted nephew, Frodo Baggins.

Sam halted at Bilbo's gate, reading a sign on it: **NO ADMITTENCE EXEPT FOR PARTY BUSINESS**. Smiling (and ignoring the sign), she pushed the gate and entered the garden.

"Sam! Dear! I thought it was the Sackville-Bagginess!" cried Bilbo said, walking down the path to meet her. "There's work for you in the garden."

Later that day, after few hours of enjoying work for Sam, a wagon pulled up and a young hobbit jumped out, "Thank you Gandalf!" yelled Frodo to the elderly man in the wagon, and then ran into the garden.

"Hello Sam, need a hand?"

"No thank you, Mr. Frodo, I can handle it myself."

"Okay, I'll be inside if you change your mind." Frodo said and then smiled at Sam, making her blush, and proceeded to enter the house to help Bilbo prepare for the party tomorrow.

"D-d-don't kid yourself Samantha Gamgee, Mr. Frodo's just being a gentlehobbit, yes, a gentlehobbit. That's all; someone like him won't love a plain gardener like you." Little did Sam know, as she said this, Bilbo Baggins stood by his door listening to her every word, in response he smiled.

"We shall see about that." And he disappeared as two hobbits, the SBs, came waking past, now it was Sam's turn to see something she should never have seen, or maybe she should have?

"You there! Is Bilbo Baggins in?"

"No ma'am."

"Humph!" said Lobelia Sackville-Baggins

After she had finished, Sam ran to one of the pubs, _The Ivy Bush_, she was not going there to drink, but to talk.

A few years back, Merry Brandybuck (her real name was Mertensia but she usually went by Merry, due to her extravert and trouble-making personality.) had told her, Peregrin Took (more commonly known as Pippin) and Fredgar Bolger (aka Fatty) about one day when she was walking with Bilbo and the SBs came by, Bilbo put on a ring and vanished, ever since that day, the four had become somewhat of a conspiracy (nicknamed "The Conspiracy", by Pippin).

"Hello Sam, got any news for The Conspiracy?" asked Merry.

"Yes," replied Sam. "Mr. Bilbo used the ring again today, when the Sackville-Bagginess where walking past."

"That's forty-one times, counting." responded Merry.

"Did you know that Gandalf is supposed to be doing a firework display for Bilbo's party tomorrow?" said Pippin. The rest of the meeting was mostly talking about this subject, and Sam left late at night as Merry and Pippin had a debate whether or not to steal one and set it a light at the party.

"Sam!" cried Bilbo; she had just been passing Bag-End when he noticed her.

"Hello, Mr. Bilbo, nice night." replied Sam.

"Sam, Sam, Sam." said Bilbo shaking his head. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Okay, Mr. Bilbo. But, not to be rude sir, it would be better if you told someone else, Mr. Frodo, for example."

"No, no, no! Frodo shall not know!" he lowered his voice to a whisper." I am leaving the Shire."

"Before your birthday?" whispered a shocked Sam.

"No, after my birthday, but you must remain quite. Go on now, go home."

"Uncle Bilbo?" said a tired-looking Frodo, who had just opened the door to Bag-End.

"Hello Frodo, just talking to young Samantha there, that's a good lad." said Bilbo walking into Bag-End.

"Hello Sam." said Frodo. The depths of his tired blue eyes looked dull as Sam looked into them. For a while their eyes met, each owner thinking more than they were prepared to say.

"Sam-lass!" interrupted The Gaffer, Sam's father, "It's late. Where were you?"

"I was with Miss Merry." answered Sam truthfully.

"That Brandybuck should learn to mind her own business and not go dragging folk off on her meaningless wild-goose chases. Good-night Mr. Frodo." said the Gaffer as he and Sam walked off.

"Nice night for sightseeing, isn't it Frodo?" asked Merry as she and Pippin jumped down from a nearby tree.

"Aye." said Pippin.

"She's so beautiful in the dark." mumbled Frodo to no-one in particular (Except probably himself) as he watched the disappearing figures of The Gaffer and Sam.

"What was that?" asked Merry.

"Oh! Nothing. I was just thinking aloud." replied Frodo.

"Looks like someone's in L-O-V-E." whispered Pippin to Merry, who looked solemn.

"Anyway. Night Merry. Night Pippin." said Frodo walking into Bag-End and closing the door behind him.

"What's wrong Merry?" asked Pippin. "You seem kind of tense."

"No. Nothing is wrong." replied Merry. "Don't worry yourself Pip; I'm fine, honest truth."

"Well if you say so. G' Night. See you tomorrow Merry."

"See you tomorrow Pippin." said Merry as she watched the younger hobbit disappear of to his home with a fond look in her eyes.

Sighing, Merry walked back to where ever she was staying. Little did she or any other hobbit know that their lives would be changed, for better or for worse, starting tomorrow and continuing to change for the next few years.


	3. The Party

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Rings

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Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter Two: The Party-

The next day, everyone was happy.

Everyone except Sam.

She knew she should be happy for Mr. Bilbo and Mr. Frodo's sake, but the impossible burden of Bilbo's departure was weighing her down.

Did any of the others know what would happen?

"Hello Sam, nice night for a party, isn't it?" Merry's cheerful voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Yes it is, I'm rather enjoying It." she lied.

"Looks like Frodo's enjoying it as well." said Merry. Sam looked at Frodo; he waved and started doing a stupid-and-ridiculous-looking dance.

"Stop teasing her Merry!" Pippin began, outraged at Merry's habit of hiding the truth when it clearly needed to be shouted out. "We both know what she was told, we both heard it."

"That we did Pip." Turning to Sam she added "Sorry about that."

"Don't worry yourself- I'm glad that someone else knows about it, it's a real weight of my chest. Now I can enjoy myself without endless worry. Thank You."

"Speaking of enjoying one's self, Pippin the plan!"

"Oh yeah! Sorry Sam; can't stay." replied Pippin and with that the two young hobbits scurried off.

"Looks like Miss Merry and Master Peregrin are up to something. I wonder what it is." came the familiar voice of Frodo Baggins, who had finished his S.A.R.L.D. and was now standing behind Sam. Realising this, she blushed.

"I don't know Mr. Frodo. They were awfully secretive about it." Replied Sam. Suddenly the music changed.

"Care for a dance?" asked Frodo.

"Well..." began Sam, but she never finished, as at that moment a colossal, fiery dragon erupted from the tent where Gandalf had stored his fireworks, and all sane hobbits dashed for cover.

"Sam! Bilbo!" yelled Frodo as he grabbed the two by their arms and tried to drag them to safety, however, the dragon exploded magnificently, into lots of little fireworks. The hobbits cheered, clapped and laughed.

"Mertensia Brandybuck and Peregrin Took!" roared Gandalf, who had appeared holding the two sooty hobbits by their hair.

The trouble-makers were forced into white aprons; it was a hilarious scene seeing the duo clean up.

Sam felt an unexpected tap on her shoulder and turned around to face Frodo Baggins.

"So how about that dance?" he asked, Sam nodded shyly and took his hand.

From her position, Merry, could her cousin, dancing, with his gardener.

She smiled, if only things could be as simple for...

After a while the song ended and Sam went home with The Gaffer and Marigold, Bilbo's relations went to a large tree where he usually made his speeches . Merry perched herself in the branches of a nearby one.

"My dear People," began Bilbo, "My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegridles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots."

"Proudfeet!" yelled Old Odo Proudfoot.

"Proudfoots," repeated Bilbo, "Also my good Sackville-Bagginses," Pippin, who was sitting next to Merry, snorted. Ignoring him, Bilbo continued.

"That I welcome back at last to Bag-End. Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday: I am eleventy-one today! I hope you are all enjoying yourselves as much as I am."

Most hobbits thought that Bilbo had finished, however, he had not.

"I shall not keep you for long, I have called you all together for a Purpose. Indeed, for Three Purposes! First of all, to tell you that I am immensely fond of you all, and that eleventy-one years is too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

Many were trying to figure out if this was an insult or a compliment, Merry laughed at their confusion and cheered for Bilbo, Pippin joined in.

"Secondly," continued Bilbo, "to celebrate my birthday. I should say: OUR birthday. For it is, of course, also the birthday of my heir and nephew, Frodo. He comes of age and into his inheritance today."

Many clapped, Merry and Pippin cheered, the Sackville-Bagginses grumbled and looked as if there was something unpleasant under their nose, Merry and Pippin cheered even more at this, Bilbo just carried on with his speech.

"Together we score one hundred and forty-four. Your numbers were chosen to fit this remarkable total: One Gross, if I may use the expression."

"One Gross, indeed! Vulgar expression." complained the Sackville-Bagginses and Merry had a sudden desire to throw something at them, something sharp. Ignoring this, Bilbo carried on.

"It is also, if I may be allowed to refer to ancient history, the anniversary of my arrival by barrel at Esgaroth on the Long Lake; though the fact that it was my birthday slipped my memory on that occasion. I was only fifty-one then, and birthdays did not seem so important. The banquet was very splendid, however, though I had a bad cold at the time, I remember, and could only say "thag you very buch". Now I repeat it more correctly: Thank you very much for coming to my little party."

There was an awkward silence and many thought he would recite a poem or a song, Merry felt uneasy. Bilbo continued.

"Third and finally, I wish to make an ANNOUNCMENT. I regret to announce that- though, as I said, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to spend among you- this is the END. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!"

And with that he vanished, Pippin turned to Merry.

"The Ring!" they both said in unison.


	4. He's gone

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Rings

This is really short, and somewhat un-flowing, sorry. :'(

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Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter Three: He's gone-

Pippin crept along behind Frodo.

Well I say crept, it was more like half running, half skidding and ducking to avoid detection. The amazing thing was that this was all done soundlessly, well kinda soundlessly, if loud breathing, cracking twigs and rustling bushes is soundless.

Frodo turned round a corner and the young hobbit was so intent on following him, he paid little attention to anything else, in fact he didn't notice Sam Gamgee, a couple of steps ahead, who had turned round to observe Frodo, who was in such a rush it was surprising that the entire Shire hadn't been awakened.

Nevertheless he was soon notified of her blocking his path by a sharp scream, which was probably due to the fact he had just ploughed into her.

"Oww!" wined Pippin, rubbing his head.

"What was that for?" asked Sam, obviously angry at the infantile tween.

"I didn't see you!"

"Well you should 'ave looked then!"

"It's isn't my fault! Merry told me to follow Frodo to see what..." he was cut off by Sam.

"What's wrong with Frodo?"

"Bilbo,"

"Oh," said Sam, suddenly changing her tone of voice. "Shall we go and see if he's alright?"

"Okay," responded Pippin, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat as the two made their way to Bag-End.

"He's gone," Frodo told Sam and Pippin, his mouth dry, tears welling from his eyes and dripping down his pale, now flushed red from tears, face.

"I'm sorry," said Sam.

"He left, without saying goodbye!" Frodo sobbed harder and louder.

Sam pulled up a stool and sat next to him, Pippin sat near the legs of the chair Frodo was perched on.

The night passed swiftly as the three were swept into an uneasy sleep

Frodo blinked, the sun shone through the curtains.

Pippin snored loudly once, though it sounded more like the snorting sound a pig makes.

"Good-morning'" greeted Merry, flinging the curtains open, Sam, whose head had been resting on Frodo's shoulder, woke with a start.

"Merry? Why? When? How?" she mumbled. Remembering the events of the night before, Sam jumped up. "I've got to go, Gaffer will have my head!"

"Well, you see Sam," began Merry. "There's an erm, how do you put it? Slight problem with that, you know the rumour about treasure at Bag-End?"

"Yes, Merry what have you done?" asked Sam to the younger hobbit.

"," Merry's speech was rapid and hard to understand.

"Say that again," requested Frodo. "This time slowly."

Merry looked up at her cousin with big eyes.

"Promise you won't shout,"

"Promise," replied Frodo.

"I gave some people some gifts that Bilbo had put out for them and now the entire Shire is trying to strip the house of valuables."

"Merry Brandybuck!" bellowed Frodo, waking up Pippin from his slumber.

"Is it time for breakfast yet?" the young Took yawned, not realising what a hole he had fell into.

"Well I guess I'd have to deal with them myself," declared Frodo, exiting the hobbit-hole, not forgetting to give Merry a vicious glare as he passed.

"He didn't even mention breakfast," complained the still oblivious Pippin Took, earning a hard glare from Sam and Merry. "What! I was only saying," grumbled the young hobbit.


	5. And so it Begins

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Ring or the Cheshire Cat, who was mentioned last chapter.

Thanks to **Saymorian**, who reviewed the last two chapters.

Sorry for what happens at the end of this one 0_0

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Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter Four: And so it begins-

It was a normal night at _The Green Dragon_ at Bywater, the disappearance of Bilbo Baggins was a fair few years ago, but it was still discussed often among the residents.

On that particular night two hobbits were sitting by the fire opposite each other. They weren't necessarily friends, and avoided each other as often as they could. But tonight they were talking- arguing.

One was Ted Sandyman, the miller's son; the other was none other than Sam Gamgee.

"You believe em stories old Bilbo used to come out with, didn't you? Asked Ted, Sam ignored him. "Lode o' rubbish if you ask me. Take dragons for example; no such thing. The old coot only ever saw one dragon; and that's Green."

"You say there's only things you see around you, not things you hear Sandyman. What about those tree things, my cousin Hal saw one with his own eyes. You can't deny that."

"Trees?" The drunken voice of Merry interrupted their argument. "I saw 'em trees. I think. Maybe, its' entirely possible. They were walkin' an' talkin' an' all-"she looked as if she was going to say more but then sat down and took a sip of ale.

Ignoring the drunken Brandybuck, Ted carried on with his insults.

"Your Hal sees everything- everything that isn't there!"

"Merry, Pip!" called Sam. "We're going." The two hobbits she had called for waltzed out the door.

"You enjoy yourself with 'em cracked folk now Sam, everyone knows that Bilbo's cracked, that why he left, now Frodo's cracking, if 'e 'ant already!"

If looks could kill, the glare Sam gave the millers son before following her companions would have made the hobbit evaporate on the spot.

As the three neared Bagshot Row, Sam thought she heard voices, drifting from Bag-End, leaving Merry and Pippin, who were far too drunk to notice her departure; she crept up to the window of the hobbit-hole.

"The Ring must leave the Shire," The rapid voice of Gandalf drifted through the window, Sam hid behind a bush beneath the window pane.

"Can't you take it Gandalf?" asked Frodo uncertainly.

"No!" yelled Gandalf. "Through me it would wield a power so great that I would become as bad as the Dark Lord Sauron. You must take it."

Before realising her actions, Sam gasped and cupped her hand over her mouth, but it was too late, she had been detected.

She felt a large hand grasp her scruff. She fiercely shut her eyes and was pulled through the cover of the bush, into Bag-End itself.

"How long have you been eavesdropping Samantha Gamgee?" yelled a voice that obviously belonged to Gandalf, Sam opened one of her eyes a crack, she could see the tall wizard looming over her and a frightened looking Frodo standing next to the table she had been forcefully pulled onto.

"I 'ant been dropping no eaves sir!" the hobbit's speech came rapidly out of her mouth.

"Don't be a fool! How long have you been there and how much have you heard?"

"Mr. Frodo!" yelped Sam, acknowledging Frodo's existence. "Please help me! Don't make him turn me into anything unnatural. Please, all I heard was something about a ring, someone named Sauron and Frodo leaving the Shire. Please, don't let him hurt me!" Sam's voice was now tainted with violent sobs.

Gandalf looked thoughtful; he had started to form some-what of a plan in his head.

Frodo couldn't go alone; likewise, Sam would probably go and tell Merry the second she was safe.

There was only one alternative- Frodo and Sam would have to journey together.

Frodo would be safer with his faithful gardener by his side and Sam wouldn't blab. Perfect!

"So," he began. "You heard that Frodo was going away, did you?" He stroked his beard, the young hobbit looked petrified. "Well why don't you go with him? Frodo could use someone else with him."

Sam looked relived and Frodo gave the wizard a look as if to say "I'm not an infantile child, I can pretty much take care of myself, thank you very much."

Surprising the two hobbits, Gandalf turned them round and pushed them to the door.

"Stay of the road and remember too look both ways when crossing, don't judge a book by its cover and, when in doubt, bring a hobbit. Remember- this is an important quest so I've brought two. Cheerio, Tally On!" With that he pushed the duo onto the ground and slammed the circular door behind them.

Frodo stood up.

"I hate being man-handled!" he declared.


	6. Vegetables and Cousins

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Rings

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Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter Five: Vegetables and Cousins-

Frodo was walked through Farmer Maggot's crop fields when he heard someone shout his name; carefully he walked in the direction he had just come.

"I thought I'd lost you," scolded Sam, who, according to Gandalf's wishes, was following him on his quest of Mordor.

"Are you okay with this? Going away from the Shire I mean," asked Frodo.

"I'll be okay following you; Gandalf told me, "Don't you lose his Sam Gamgee." I don't mean to Mr. Frodo, and besides; we got to see elves yesterday."

Frodo let ought a good-hearted laugh, Sam froze.

"Did you hear something?" Frodo shook his head and turned round.

"Wait," began Sam. "There it is again,"

"I can't hear anything." but as the words came from his mouth he heard a faint cry of "Run!", and then again, but louder.

"Now I hear it Sam, something's coming towards us," he could now hear swift foot-steps and could easily tell that the voice was female. "And it's coming towards us quite rapidly."

"I think we better run,"

"I agree with you there!"

But they hadn't managed many steps before two hobbit-sized creatures smacked into them, the impact knocking the duo to the ground.

"I think we banged into something Merry!"

"Thank you for pointing that out Pippin, I hadn't noticed," said Merry, her voice oozing with sarcasm, Pippin paid no attention to this.

"Pippin? Merry? What are you two doing here?" Frodo's voice sounded slightly muffled.

"Frodo!" yelled Merry, standing up. "Why, we could ask you the same question, if we didn't know you were going to be here,"

"You've been following us?" asked Sam.

"No, I'll tell you later," she hastily added as Farmer Maggot's pick could be seen over the tops of the crops. Taking the hint the over four started to sprint across the field with Merry.

"AHHGGGGGGG!" Merry had sharply stopped and she and the others had collided and turned into a pile of moody hobbits.

"Phew, that was lucky," said Pippin as he looked at a dollop of disgusting-looking, green pooh that was lying mere inches from his face, the others glared at him the best they could, given that they were in a rather inconvenient tangle.

"What was this!" yelled an outraged Frodo.

"Oh, this was just a simple short cut," said Merry, standing up and brushing the dust and earth of her clothes.

"To what?" asked Frodo, now also standing.

"To the erm... Mushrooms!" she said, noticing the fungi lying near a tree. She, Pippin and Sam rushed over to it.

Frodo stood in the middle of the Road. Wait, the Road? He suddenly had a strange feeling, as if something was coming,

something abnormal,

something out of place,

something dark...

Merry looked at the older hobbit with shock, or was she looking at what stood, a long while away, behind him, two words formed on her lips.

"Oh no,"

"Sam, Merry, Pip. I thing we better run," said Frodo as swift hoof-steps clattered up the Road, the sky had turned a peculiar dark colour, despite being sunny, just over mid-day.

Sam and Pippin looked up, they could see the shadowed rider atop his black steed and a sudden feeling of impending doom came over them.

"Quick," said Pippin knowing more about this than Sam or Frodo. "To the ferry," The four hobbits turned in the direction of the Brandywine and broke into a run.

After a seemingly endless run, with sweat pouring down their necks and the dark rider hot on their furry heels, the hobbits came into sight of the Bucklebury Ferry.

Sam, Merry and Pippin climbed onto it and Merry started to unravel the rope docking the raft to the shore.

"Mr. Frodo!" yelled Sam, for the dark-haired hobbit had not got onto the raft, which was now a good few centimetres from the shoreline.

"Jump!" yelled Pippin and Frodo took a flying leap at the floating raft, landing on the edge, he would have toppled in if Sam hadn't grabbed his wrist.

The rider's hours reared up and neighed, befor turning and galloping off.

"Where's the next crossing?" asked Frodo.

"Brandywine Bridge, twenty miles away," responded Merry and the raft glided along the water into the night.


	7. The journey of Merry and Pip

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Rings

* * *

Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter Six: The journey of Merry and Pip-

Merry yawned, what time was it?

Past breakfast?

Past second breakfast?

She couldn't remember much about last night so she decided to recap to try and ease her confusion.

She and Pippin went to the Green Dragon with Sam.

Sam argued with Ted Sandyman.

She had said something about trees.

The three left.

She and Pip walked home.

But then, where was Sam?

They had been walkin down Bagshot Row when she heard whispers from Bag-End.

Bag- End.

Only a few minutes later was Pippin was woken by Merry.

"They've gone." she said.

"Who?"

"Just get ready quickly and I'll tell you once we get going."

Merry left Pippin with a confused look on his face.

"I've checked with the Gaffer, Sam didn't come home last night," informed Merry. "And Bag-End's deserted, it's like someone was told to go somewhere on short notice, everything's been moved around and it's untidy. Pip I think something's happened. Something that I can't quite put my finger on. But I know one thing."

"What?" asked Pippin. The two were riding on ponies, three others racing along behind them, borrowed from a nearby stable, Pip was gripping on to his' neck for dear life.

"It's something dark,"

"What?"

"It's something dark,"

Still not getting this, Pippin asked another, seemingly more relevant question.

"Where are we going?"

"Well since Fatty doesn't want to come were going straight after Frodo and Sam,"

"What if something happened to them last night?" questioned Pippin. "What if they've been kidnapped, or worse."

Merry turned her pony to face his.

"Then we must hope for the best,"

The next day Merry woke up early.

"Pip!" she shouted. "Pip! Wake up!" Pippin groaned.

"Is it morning yet?"

"Yes and we've got a full day ahead of us. Now do something helpful." Pippin reluctantly got up and started a fire.

"What are we doing today?" he asked.

"Same as yesterday," replied Merry.

"We haven't seen any trace of them so far, are you sure they came this way?"

"No, but it's worth a try, we might meet someone who knows of their whereabouts."

Sighing, Pippin started to recite one of the songs he had heard whist at Bag-End,

"_The Road goes ever on and on,_

_Down from the door where it began._

_Now far ahead the road has gone,_

_And I must follow it if I can,_

_Pursuing it with weary feet,_

_Until it joins some larger way,_

_Where many paths and errands meet._

_And wither then? I cannot say_."

"Bilbo's or Frodo's?" asked Merry who had come to sit beside him with some soup.

"Frodo's," replied Pippin. "I do hope nothing bad has happened to them,"

"They'll be fine," encouraged Merry. "You'll see,"

There was a quite _clip clop_. Merry stood up.

"I think something's coming our way,"

"Then they might be able to help us,"

"Pippin, I don't think that..." her voice faded. "D-d-does it look darker to you?" the normally cheerful voice was clouded with fear.

"It's colder," replied Pippin, pulling on his jacket and scarf.

Gulping, Merry stepped forwards.

"It looks like... Pippin! I think I might have found the reason why Sam and Frodo left!" her voice was now a terrified scream and she was breathing heavily.

Pippin stood next to her.

"I think we should... hide," he whispered as the sound of hoof drew nearer.

Merry shakily nodded and turned to run under the roots of a tree and scramble under, Pippin soon joined her.

The sound of hooves stopped, the rider was right above them. Merry covered Pippin's mouth and nose.

"Could you please breathe a little quieter!" she whispered into his ear.

"Sorry," replied Pippin, after prying her hands of his face.

"Sssssshire," hissed a calm voice, calm and terrifying.

Pippin grabbed Merry's hand and froze. Merry glanced upwards.

There was a giant, midnight black horse, with a huge man seated atop it. He was clad in a rippling black cloak, his face was invisible and he wore sharp metal shoes pointed like cruel talons.

The rider dismounted his steed and strode over to the fire the two hobbits had lit earlier. He kicked it with his iron boot and snuffed it out. Pippin gave a sharp gasp and the rider glided in a menacing fashion over to the tree where the hobbits lay.

"Bagginssssss," he hissed and mounted his dark steed, then rode off into the depth of the forest, the road instantly grew brighter and warmer.

Only when the rider was fully out of hearing distance did Pippin speak,

"What was that?"

"I don't know," responded Merry, standing up and frowning.

"It said it was looking for someone named Baggins that lives in the Shire,"

"It did,"

"Then, if it did, what in Middle-Earth is it after us for?" realisation hit Merry like an arrow.

"It wants to follow up Pip, it must have heard us earlier." she turned around to face the younger hobbit. "It wants us to lead it to Frodo and Sam,"

Pippin's face was a mixture of shock and fear.

"But if it's following us shouldn't we go back to the Shire?" he asked.

"Then the Shire will be in danger Pip,"

"What about out of the Shire,"

"Then we'll be in danger Pippin!"

"Then what do we do?" Questioned the younger hobbit, Merry sat down. "Tell me what to do, Merry!" he yelled, Merry ignored him. Pippin sat down besides her.

"Please?"

"There is only one thing to do,"

"What's that?"

Merry stood up.

"Find Frodo and Sam, and then warn them."

"But the rider will find us!"

"Not if we go by foot he won't," Pippin gave his cousin a confused look.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked.

"He's got a horse, a horse that gallops easily on roads. If we stray from the road, he'll have a hard job finding us. We can outrun him, by going slowly across land, rather than going quickly and risk getting detected." Pippin smiled at his cousin, this was making sense to him.

It was night, the long walk in the various fields and forests had brought them closer to finding the two hobbits than a quick ride on the road would have.

There was an odd circle here that looked like it had been a fire and some grass over there that looked like it had been rested on recently.

Merry paused, she could hear singing nearby.

"What's that?" asked Pippin.

"Singing, though these are not the voices of hobbits, or that rider."

"They're elves!" gasped Pippin, peering through the bushes. "Do you think they've seen Frodo and Sam,"

"It's worth a try," said Merry, who walked over to the middle of the path, Pippin following her.

" What is this?" asked the elf at the front, when he say the two hobbits blocking the path, Pippin trembled and hid behind his cousin.

Merry, on the other hand, felt braver than she had felt all her life.

"We have come for information," she spoke loud and clear.

"What kind of information?" asked the elf.

"Two of our friends are missing, we thought you might have seen them, even spoke to them."

"We have spoke to no other creature than yourself." stated the elf.

"Why do hobbits stand in our way? The others we saw didn't bother us." asked an elf who had just come from the back off the line.

"They've seen Frodo and Sam," whispered Pippin.

"Come closer little ones," said the elf, Merry and Pippin walked over to him. "What is your business here?"

"We have come to look for are friends, they came this way."

"And what are your names hobbits,"

"I'm Merry, Mertensia Brandybuck, and this is my cousin, Peregrin Took."

"You can call me Pippin, or Pip," stated Pippin.

"And who are you looking for?"

"Well there's Sam Gamgee and Frodo Bagg-," she was cut off as the company of elves surrounded them.

"We will take you with us and tell you things for your search," said the elves. "You will lodge with us tonight,"

Merry and Pippin where soon walking with the elves, near the back of the line, next to Gildor, the elf who had asked their names. Pippin began to get sleepy and staggered occasionally, each time an elf coming to stop him from falling.

When they had finished walking, the elves sat down and gave the hobbits food and drink, and sung merrily. Merry and Pippin learnt many thing, but not about what they were most curious to hear about- the Black Riders.

They had told their tale and the elves told them that this was not the right place to discuss such dark matters.

Night soon passed and the two hobbits woke up alone. With nothing new but information, and that was all they needed.

They set off to Farmer Maggots place early and arrived there by mid-day, the two were just stealing their next meal when Maggot came.

"Run!" yelled Merry as the farmer saw the two.

"Run!" she grasped Pippin's arm and pulled him into the crop field.

"Run!" Farmer Maggot was hot on their heels.

"Run!" the hobbits were near the edge of his land, they could hear voices up ahead. Suddenly they fell onto two hobbit-like creatures.

"I think we banged into something Merry!" yelled Pippin.

"Thank you for pointing that out Pippin, I hadn't noticed," said Merry, her voice oozing with sarcasm, Pippin ignored her.

"Pippin? Merry? What are you two doing here?" came a muffled voice from under her.

"Frodo!" yelled Merry, standing up. "Why, we could ask you the same question, if we didn't know you were going to be here,"

Merry smiled at Pippin, they had finally found what they were looking for.


	8. Panic on the Hill

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Ring or any types of fish, because I was thinking of tuna when I posted this.

* * *

Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter Seven: Panic on the Hill -

"And that's how we found you," ended Merry, she had just been telling Sam and Frodo how she came to find them with an added comment from Pippin at various parts of the story.

The four hobbits where in the house of Tom Bombadil and his wife Goldberry. They had stayed for a few days and it was time to leave. The four said their goodbyes to Tom and Goldberry and set off towards Bree. Tom had taught the hobbits a song to sing whenever they were in danger.

Pippin walked behind Sam, the four where travelling through the forest to a hill where they could look out to see their path.

"These things are never easy are they?" Pippin asked Merry who shook her head, no one was in the mood for talking and the young hobbit was getting bored.

Pippin started to sing a marching song, to kill the time it would take them to get to the hill:

"_Upon the hearth the fire is red,_

_Beneath the roof there is a bed;_

_But not yet weary are our feet,_

_Still round the corner we may meet_

_A sudden tree or standing stone_

_That none have seen but we alone._

_Tree and flower and leaf and grass,_

_Let them pass! Let them pass!_

_Hill and water under sky,_

_Pass them by! Pass them by_!"

He didn't care that it was the wrong time of day, the song had livened his spirits and he hardly noticed the trees thinning.

"_Still round and round the corner there may wait_

_A new road or a secret gate,_

_And though we pass them by today,_

_Tomorrow we may come this way_

_And take the hidden paths that run_

_Towards the Moon or to the Sun._

_Apple, thorn, and nut and sole,_

_Let them go! Let them go!_

_Sand and stone and pool and dell,_

_Fare you well! Fare you well_!"

Ahead of the hobbits, a grassy mound rose above the trees, Pippin ran, leading his pony to the top. He stood and looked at the forest, the road, the towns, and the faint outline of the mountains. He began to sing the last verse:

"_Home is behind, the world ahead,_

_And there are many paths to tread_

_Through shadows to the edge of night,_

_Until the stars are all alight._

_Then world behind and home ahead,_

_We'll wander back to home and bed._

_Mist and twilight, cloud and shade,_

_Away shall fade! Away shall fade_..."

He stopped there, glancing back at his companions he resumed the song:

"_Fire and lamp, and meat and bread,_

_And then to bed! And then to bed_!"

"We should be able to get past the barrow-downs by night fall," said Frodo when suddenly a blood-curdling scream was heard coming from the road and it turned dark.

"What is that?" yelled Sam.

"It's Lobelia Sackville-Baggins!" cried Pippin, trembling like an idiot at the thought of the she-hobbit, fortunately, Merry placed her hand on his shoulder, offering comfort, only then did he stop shaking.

"Look!" hollered the young Brandybuck, pointing to the road. "A Black Rider!" sure enough there was an eerie dark shadow moving swiftly in the direction of the forest.

"He's found us!" screamed Pippin, jumping up and down with terror.

"We'll have to ride!" said Frodo, mounting his pony, the others doing the same, Pippin with much difficulty.

The four hobbits rode rapidly into the barrow-downs, soon, vision became limited and they rode more slowly in single-file, Frodo first, followed by Sam, and then Pippin with Merry at the end leading the baggage-pony.

Frodo's horse started to break into gallop and the others lost sight of him, but they heard his voice somewhere ahead.

"Sam! Pippin! Merry! Come along! Why don't you keep up?"

Pippin's horse reared, making him fall of, and then bolted. Looking around, Pippin could no longer see any of his companions.

"Merry! Sam! Frodo!" many of the same cries came from various places around him, but with his own name thrown in.

The young hobbit headed to the nearest voice, but as he got there, the same voice called from the opposite direction.

"What's going on!" he yelled turning round.

A great barrel loomed before him. Pippin backed away and a cold hand covered his mouth and nose. Muffled cries for help came out. He saw Merry appear out of the mist and gloom. She shouted him name and ran towards him.

And then darkness took Pippin...


	9. Barrows, Evil Hands and Tom

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Rings

* * *

Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter Eight: Barrows, Evil Pippin-killing Hands and Tom -

Pippin woke up in a barrow; the barrow-wights had got him.

Frodo, Sam and Merry lay, already awake, beside him, clad in black garments with heavy rings around their ankles and wrists, looking down, Pip could see that he was clothed in the same outfit.

"What are we going to do?" asked the young hobbit.

"Shhhhh!" hushed the others.

As if they had spoken some password, a ghastly hand shot out from somewhere and grabbed the Pippin's ankle, Frodo tried to injure it with a short sword but he was too slow and Merry beat him to the hand, freeing the young Took. Who, taking their earlier advice, only nodded his gratefulness.

Pippin looked away, there had to be something they could do. Someone decent could be nearby and they wouldn't know that the four hobbits were there, just waiting to be rescued.

Suddenly the answer hit him on the head like an apple falling from a tree.

Quietly and somewhat terrified at first, he started to sing:

"_Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo!_

_By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow,_

_By fire, sun and moon, harken now and hear us!_

_Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us_!"

Frodo looked at him.

"Tom Bombadil, of course, why didn't we think of it before?"

The cheerful voice of Tom answered to the young hobbit's reciting:

"_Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow,_

_Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow._

_None has ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master:_

_His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster_.

_Get out, you old Wight! Vanish in the sunlight!_

_Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,_

_Out into the barren lands far beyond the mountains!_

_Come never here again! Leave your barrow empty!_

_Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,_

_Where gates stand forever shut, till the world is mended_."

As the four hobbits crawled out of the barrow, mist and shadows didn't meet their eyes, but clear skies and daylight. Later, when he would recite the story to his kin, Frodo swore we could see a hideous severed hand, wriggling around in the dust in a gruesome manner, blood oozing from where a wrist would be set if it was still in place upon a body.

Tom went to inspect the barrow, whilst the hobbits lay on the grass, facing the sun and its comforting warmth. After a many sounds of thumping and stamping, he came out, arms laden with fine jewels, gleaming metals and decorative chains.

"You won't find your clothes again," said Tom, as if reading the four's minds.

Sam looked glum at this, cursing her misfortune to not bring any spare clothes.

Tom, however, had already sprung of somewhere and was now singing loudly:

"_Hey! Now! Come hoy now! Whither do you wander?_

_Up, down, near or far, here, there or yonder?_

_Sharp-ears, Wise-nose, Swish-tail and Bumpkin,_

_White-socks my little lad, and old Fatty Lumpkin!"_

Sam gasped and turned to Pippin.

"Sorry, I almost forgot. Thank you for what you did to save us,"

"Yeah, Thanks," echoed Merry, Pip accepted the praise with gratitude, throughout this, Frodo wore an undetectable look, although there was somewhat of a steely look in his blue eyes.

By the time that Tom had returned, the four hobbits where starting to get hungry, although most of their grim sorrow for their clothes had washed away.

He led six ponies: five that Merry and Pippin had brought and his own, Fatty Lumpkin.

Explaining that the ponies had found Fatty when they had bolted away from the barrow-wrights, Tom lead them back to his house for a brief change, then they would continue on their journey towards Mordor.

* * *

What does the name "Cloakie" remind you of?


	10. Enter Cloakie and Strider

Rant-

So I haven't updated in a while, because I've been doing lots of other things during the hols. Last night I decided I was going to update this story which kinda no-one has read since about... chapter 4 was it? Anyways, I decided I was going to update whilst I was doing Sudoku and listerning to "Doctorin' the TARDIS" on my iPod, because I haven't updated during the holidays and I've already writtern most of book one (sorry.) BUT, since I don't actually get any reveiws (not since chapter 4 / 5 (not that it's anyone's fault (probably mine though...))) I might end the story at Chapter 14 (cuz that's when Book One ends (believe it or not)) because if no-one's really reading it then I would be wasting my time. :'(

- End of Rant

Disclaimer-

I do not own Lord of the Rings

* * *

Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter Nine: Bree- Enter Cloakie and Strider -

Sam was standing in the dining room, dressed in a maroon jumper with blue trousers, her pale golden hair curled down her back on her shoulders.

"Where'd you get them from?" asked Frodo, who had just walking in, clothed in a white tunic, brown trousers and a dark green jacket.

"Merry lent 'em to me," answer Sam.

"They suit you," said Frodo, Sam looked at him, and, remembering the night six years ago, blinked at the déjà vu.

"I know they're not your own," he continued. "But they do," Sam let out a short laugh and looked away.

"What do you think will happen?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"You know, when we get _there_,"

"I don't know Sam. The Ring'll probably be destroyed and then..." his voice trailed off and he looked up. "Who knows what will happen."

"Sam! Frodo! Are you ready yet?" yelled Merry from outside.

"Coming!" answered Frodo, and he and Sam walked out to meet her.

"There you are," said Merry, noticing them. "Tom says he'll come with us: past his land and no further though mind you."

She wore a white blouse with black trousers and a dark blue coat, Pippin wore a crisp, white shirt, dark green trousers, complete with a brown scarf.

"Let's get going!" sung Tom, leaping upon Fatty Lumpkin.

* * *

Despite the hobbit's protest, Tom stayed true to his promise and left them at the end of his land.

They were now at Bree, the chief village of the Bree-Land, and it was dark, because it was night, and it's always dark at night, even in the summer, although it was autumn.

Anyway, the four hobbits had reserved a place to stay in the Prancing Pony, the local tavern in Bree.

* * *

"Do you realise that that man has been staring at us ever since we arrived?" asked Sam pointing out a cloaked figure huddled in the corner.

"What does he want?" responded Merry moodily.

"Do I look good?" asked Pippin, fiddling with his hair.

"Beautiful, Pip," replied a sarcastic Merry.

"I'm going to talk to him," said Frodo.

"I'm going to go get drinks- come along Pippin!"

Merry and Pippin went to order, (although the words "Do you really thing I'm beautiful, Merry?" could be heard) and Frodo, followed by Sam, went to speak to the mysterious stranger in the corner.

"Hello, I'm Frodo. This is Sam. Were from the Shire, were travelling with two of our friends. How are you?" asked Frodo to Cloakie, who silently stared at him.

"Nice to meet you too," muttered Sam, Frodo ignored her.

"Nice night tonight, isn't it? Isn't it?" Frodo sighed and looked at Sam. "I don't think he can talk."

"Well this is a nice company," said Pippin, who had just appeared with drinks.

"Thanks," praised Frodo, taking his own mug.

"Cheers," chanted the three hobbits in complete unison whilst banging their mugs together, before taking a sip (or in Pippin's case: a large gulp). Unknown to them, Cloakie was eying the mugs with hungry eyes.

"What's that?" asked Pip, as Merry came and sat down beside him with a large mug of ale.

"This, my friend, is a pint."

"I want one!" cried Pippin, imitating a young child, before rushing off to the bar.

"But you've almost had half of your drink!" yelled Sam after him, realising a lost cause when she saw one, turned around.

"D-d-do you want it?" she nervously, to everyone's surprise, asked Cloakie, who nodded eagerly and greedily took the mug. In the future, Frodo would also swear he could hear a gruff "Don't mind if I do," certainly, the others felt that he would have said that, had he been in a mood for talking.

As if thanking the hobbits for the free ale, he tapped Frodo on the shoulder and pointed to the bar, three heads swivelled in that direction. At the bar, was Pippin, and he was saying something. For a moment, Frodo heard his name, followed by an eerie silence (save Pip's endless chatter); everyone was looking at his table, huddled in the corner.

Suddenly there was a short scream from next to him, it was Sam, he had no idea why she had screamed, and for a moment he had thought that it was not her, but the pale face and wide brown eyes confirmed this.

But why?

Oddly, he was looking down at his hand; there was something on one of his fingers...

Oh no, how could it have got on there, now even _Pippin_ had shut up to stare at the empty space that should have been him.

Oh... Gandalf Poop!

Suddenly, he felt a strong hand tugging on his right shoulder, he tried to push it away with his left hand, but another grasped him and pulled the hobbit into the air.

Surprisingly, he was now being held by the mysterious stranger who he had mentally named Cloakie (not that he would ever tell anyone that). Somehow, Frodo had no idea how he had managed it, but _somehow_, Cloakie had managed to navigate his way across the room, avoiding the numerous eyes that were now fixed of Sam and Merry.

After a while, he found himself in an upstairs room, put down on the floor by Cloakie.

"You can take that ring off now," said a deep and somewhat melancholy voice, rising from the depths of the battered and weather-eaten cloak, Frodo was surprised at this, from what little he knew of men, he had thought them to be cheery, like his own kin.

"You can take that ring of now, Mr. Baggins," Frodo jumped, how did this mysterious stranger know his name? But, according to Cloakie's wishes he took the golden accessory.

Suddenly, there was a small knock at the door.

Followed by a louder one.

And then an even louder one.

Bang!

"Frodo!" Standing at the now open door was Sam and Merry (the latter holding a drunken Pippin by his scruff, who continuously giggled at random points.)

"I am not here to hurt Mr. Baggins,"

"Then why did you kidnap him!" yelled Sam.

""sung Pip, but he burst into a fit of giggles before he could finish.

"Calm down young one, I didn't kidnap Frodo; I was merely helping him,"

"How," she demanded.

"You wouldn't understand!"

"I would!"

"You wouldn't!"

"I would!"

"You wouldn't!"

"I would!"

"You wouldn't!"

"I would!"

"You wouldn't!"

"I would!"

"You wouldn't!"

"I would!"

"You wouldn't!"

"I would!"

"No Miss, you wouldn't, and that's the last word on this matter!" Cloakie stamped his foot.

"Prove it!" yelled Sam.

"What would you say if I mentioned Sauron?"

Sam hesitated, unsure of what to say.

Pippin giggled randomly.

"Humph!" cheered Cloakie triumphantly.

"He's a dark lord," answered Sam.

"What?" shrieked Cloakie.

"Sauron- he's a dark lord."

"H-h-h-how do you know that?"

"Never mind," grinned Sam. "Anyway, why did you kidnap him," she said smugly.

Cloakie put his head in his hands and rubbed his temples underneath his hood.

"I thought Gandalf said there would only be one, not four!"

"You know Gandalf!" asked Merry loudly.

"Yes, young one, he told me to find the ring-bearer,"

"Well, since you're on our side, why don't you let down your hood, or at least tell us your name." asked Frodo.

Suddenly, the barman ran through the wide open door.

"I thought that cloaked man had kidnapped you!"

"Yeah, about the cloaked one..."

"What?" said the barman, shivering slightly.

"What's his real name?"

"What!" Butterbur screeched; he had _not_ been expecting this.

"What is his name?"

"We call him Strider at Bree. I thought he had got you, sirs... and madams," he added after a swift glare form Merry.

"And he has," boomed the looming figure of Cloakie... no, Strider.

"Mercy! Mercy!" cried Butterbur.

"Relax, my good sir and go do something constructive," Butterbur crawled out of the room at this.

Frodo looked at Strider, his head was uncloaked and dark hair rested on his broad shoulders, making him look, for a moment, knightly.

"Well, this has been a nice talk but I think we should go and rest up- big day tomorrow you know!" said the ever-sarcastic Merry.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you,"

"And why would that be?"

"Stay here," commanded Strider.

A few minutes late, he returned with four small mattresses and minute sheets.

"You will be staying here tonight,"

"Why?" asked Sam.

"Don't question," said Strider, who was now sitting next to the window.

The hobbits flopped down on the mattresses and pulled the sheets over themselves, Strider didn't move.

Suddenly, the sky darkened and a spine-chilling breeze swept through the inn. Pippin started shivering.

"Would you please shiver a little quieter!" hissed Merry.

There was a slicing noise from below them, then silence.

Eerie silence.

The hobbits could hear their ragged breaths rising from their throats.

There was nothing.

Nothing but fear.

Darkness.

Nothing.

Fear.

They were suffocating in it.

A blood-curdling scream brought them back to reality; Strider could see four, barely visible, shadowed figures gliding off in a maddened rage.

"The danger has passed," he announced, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin exhaled the breath they hadn't known that they had been holding.

"For now," he added.

Everyone in the room gave him the angriest glare that they could muster.


	11. Cherrio, Tally On

Disclaimer- I do not own Lord of the Rings, Churchill Dogs or anything else that crops up in the story.

It's been ages and ages since I uploaded another chapter and stuff (I forgot what I was supposed to be putting here :'( so I just put 'stuff' down.)

* * *

Queer Things: The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One

-Chapter Ten: Cheerio, Tally On-

Despite Strider's warning, the hobbits slept soundly and where undisturbed for the rest of the night (save Butterbur running in to give them a letter from Gandalf, that he had unconfidently forgotten to give them when they arrived, he was awarded with a stern glare from everyone in the room at this).

However, during an extremely early breakfast that not even sleeping outside for a fortnight could have prepared them for, he broke the terrible news to them.

"No!" gasped Merry. Pippin dropped the spoon he was using to eat with, unfortunately for him, it had been frozen half-way through his mouth and he was left with a painful toothache for the rest of the day.

"I'm sorry, but its true- the ponies are... gone!" finished Strider with a dramatic pause, Frodo rolled his over-large eyes.

"What did Gandalf want us to do again?" Said Strider, forgetting what was written on the letter for the umpteenth time that morning as Sam bashed her head against the table for the umpteenth time that morning.

"Well, let's look at the letter again,"

"Good idea!" agreed Strider, nodding his head like a Churchill Dog as Frodo brought a scrunched-up sheet of paper out of his pocket.

"**Hiya Frodo!"** he read.

"**Can't write much in fear this might get intercepted. Some weird shadowy guys are stalking me. If you go to Bree my friend Butterbur is trustworthy and he will give you this letter. You might meet another friend of mine on the Road, his name is Strider. He's really tall, likes wearing cloaks, also likes drinking ale as well He knows of the Ring and Sauron. He will help you get to Rivendell, that's were you need to go. Elrond will help you.**

**Byez,**

**Gandalf.**

**P.S. Don't you think that Elrond's eyebrows look funny!**

**P.P.S. Make sure that Strider is the real one- he won't tell anyone his true name!**

**P.P.P.S. Is there anything I'm forgetting?**

**P.P.P.P.S. Don't think so.**

**P.P.P.P.P.S. See you at Rivendell!**

**P.P.P.P.P.P.S I like P.S'**

**Cheerio, Tally On!**

**Gandalf." **finished Frodo.

"I've got it!" yelled Strider. "Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pip! Follow me! I have solved out problem!"

The hovel that Strider led was in despicable condition, it was the last house in Bree and owned by a sneering man the hobbits had seen at the Prancing Pony the previous night; Bill Ferny.

"Were getting a pony from _here_?" asked Merry, bewildered and with an expression that clearly read "This is not happening".

"Morning, Longshanks!" hissed the unpleasant man, who had appeared from behind an overgrown and un-kept hedge. "Found some friends? A little on the small size aren't they!" he cackled manically.

Frodo stood his ground and glared at the gruesome Ferny with the same steely look he had used on Pippin, although it was more concentrated. Sam reached for an apple she had stashed away in a backpack, given to her at the inn. Pip hid behind Merry, who put a protective arm around him and gave Ferny a glare as if to say "You'll have to fight me to hurt him". Strider remained tall and spoke steadily.

"It does not matter of their size, Ferny,"

"Then, why are you here, Longshanks?"

"We wish you buy your pony,"

"Pony? You wish to buy..." he was cut off as he burst into a coughing fit.

"Yes, Ferny. I believe I just told you that," sighed Strider, obviously thinking "Honestly, some people round here."

"Well, the price... thirteen pieces of silver!"

"What?" yelled an outraged Frodo.

"Yeah! We could buy _three_ ponies for that price and _still _have money to spare!" agreed Merry.

"We will pay your price," replied Strider, ignoring the wave of protests from the hobbits.

Ferny took the money and disappeared behind the hedge.

"That's it, Mr. Frodo, he'll probably just run of with the money, or the pony'll be at death's door," whispered Sam.

A hideous noise of coughing alerted them to the arrival of Ferny, via a rusting gate, he was pulling a tired and beaten pony by a rope, which was tightly fastened around its neck.

"Told you. Oh, the poor thing!"

"There's your pony, take good care of him," Ferny spat on the ground and cackled manically again.

Sam, angered at the horrid man's treating of the poor pony, through the apple she was holding at him, it hit him on the head and he disappeared behind the hedge.

"Wow," breathed a shocked Pippin.

"Ouch- he'll feel _that_ in the morning!" yelled Merry.

Strider remained silent, but his face mirrored Pip's, which was quite hilarious.


End file.
